It's the fall of 1985. The intertwining tales of three 5th grade friends, Chris, Joe and Ted, unfold in the suburban paradise of Palo Alto, as the threat of a mountain lion looms over the community.

When freeloader Phil is tossed out by the love of his life, Jen, he stays with two old friends who come upon a magic shirt that guarantees them sex with all the women they can handle. The three losers have their lives upended as Phil's friends pursue a daily diet of Maxim models and close encounters with Hollywood's hottest-but Phil schemes to use the shirt to win back Jen. And when an insane marine steals the shirt and threatens to use it on Jen, Phil's battle for her affections takes on dangerously high stakes. Chick Magnet makes it clear that the laws of attraction were made to be broken.